Miss Jemma from Michigan writes: “Hey Sean, it is a dream of mine to be on Project Improviser, Season Two. There’s just one small problem. I have a hook for a hand. Do you think it’s possible for me to overcome adversity and achieve my goals?”

nope

Jim from Ontario writes: “Hey Sean, in episode 4 Greg refers to doing scenes with you as, “business as usual.” That sounds crazy to me. What does he mean by this?”

Geez, I can’t say for sure Jim. I’m not Greg! Also, he has cosistently refused my collect calls asking him to “clarify those remarks!” and “use better diction!” and “VALIDATE ME!”

However, I can take a pretty good guess. I think his use of the phrase “business as usual” was a reference to the fact that it was incredibly hard work for Greg to accomplish even the most basic objectives in scenes with me. Often times, Greg would enter the stage with some sort of “idea” or “thing in his head” that he wanted to say. At this point, I would begin tugging furiously at his rich, supple beard. In turn, Gregory would produce the thin metal pipe which stays sheathed in his pantleg at all times, and thrash me quite soundly. The editors of our program have seen fit not to include these segments (about 13 altogether) in their final version of the show. Does the product suffer for it? You be the judge. Hey Jim from Ontario, you’re my first international fan. A letter from Canada!?!? Now I’ve seen everything!